Our perception of love and our language of love encourage us to think of love as a quantifiable substance ["make love", "fallen in love", "lots of love"], something that can be given, received, and taken away. Love, like everything else in a commercial society, has been turned into a commodity, an object of pleasure or happiness.
Movies and songs tell us that love hurts. But when love hurts, it's not love any more, but an immense desire we create that manifests itself in a variety of ways on our desire to get rid of the fear of loneliness or rejection, our desire to indulge in needy attachment, our desire to satisfy our possessive need for control…..and so, I can say….I do miss you real much now.
I was taught that liking something, or loving something, were only different degrees of the same thing. "I love that car", "I love this rims", "I love this beer". What was really meant is that: "I really really like these 3 above me".
Liking is a very superficial emotion. I used to like boy bands but in a few years I had outgrow it. Love, however, is the opposite. While liking is temporary and is an external superficial emotion, love is boundless and deep. Love is what allows you to see another person's soul and admire their essence… thou at time, it can be painful and yet you enjoy the pain.
Growing up thinking that loving something we wants it very badly creates a lot of the typical problems we see all the time in all sort of relationships. Jealousy for example isn't a symptom of love, it is a symptom of desire. Pure love is different from this , it known that there is no need to own something or someone beautiful by making it yours, instead, you simply celebrate their existence. Indeed, pure love created pure tears….do you agree?
Love is all-selfless. But why do we turn it into desire? Why do we objectify it in order to gain something out of it? Before being capable of appreciating love's selflessness, we must first cultivate selfishness.
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