Vanilla Sex, Please!

Vanilla sex refers to sex that does not involve those elements of play that are thought of as "kinky." The problem is that what's considered vanilla depends on who you ask.
Most often, vanilla is thought of as missionary sex, but many people would include all kinds of other positions, play and even props. That might mean oral sex, vaginal sex, and anal sex, as well as kissing, cuddling, massaging, and even a variety of sex positions. Even sex toys can be included in the vanilla label.

After all, if you've never used sex toys, you might think they're kinky. If you've used them for ages to explore and enhance your sex life, you might call them plain, old vanilla but still delicious right?

We often think of sex in terms of what sorts of positions and play, but sex is about more than that. For my perspective, sex is about experiencing pleasure with others. That includes emotion, intimacy, passion and trust. It feels good to be intimate with others on a primal level, with or without props and toys. The point isn't that these things are missing from kinkier pleasures; it's that they're present in both. Vanilla casual sex can be really hot because it still involves sharing private pleasure with another person.

While it may seem like vanilla sex is the default, the boring springboard from which all greater sexual gratification is launched, nothing could be further from the truth. So forget about labels and start enjoying the sex you want to - and do - have.

Oh, and while vanilla sex and kinky sex can both be fun and fulfilling on their own, they also overlap for a lot of people. That means that whether you think you're kinky or not, you can always throw something new into the mix if you think you and your partner will enjoy it. If not, keep getting down with your bad self, whatever that means for you.